Wednesday, August 10, 2005

i greeted national day with an unpleasant crimson surprise of my own. no zouk, no nookie, just panadol fucking menstrual and trying not to writhe around in pain and agony too much along to the strains of the horrifying song our overly made-up singapore idol is in. at least we caught the heartlands version of the fireworks after dinner, enthralling young and old sprawled around the reservoir grounds. i was telling zaihan while waiting for the fireworks, that if i had enough money i would have all my friends on my yacht and put on weekly displays of fireworks in wildly inappropriate shapes. i can already imagine my favourite would be a phallus lit up high above the marina skyline. that, would also be the signal for the rest of my friends who aren't on the yacht to converge at zouk, which i would have already acquired. now back to reality. i also told him, in 60 years, singapore'll be a 100. i can't imagine how grand the centennial celebrations would be. i went to sleep last night with a smile on my face. obviously it wasn't because i got some but because the alarm on my phone wasn't set to ring at 7am. i felt too cool for school last night and a little depressed at the end of harry potter book 6. i woke up at an unfortunately, dismally early hour. early enough for me to get to school in time actually. it's already 5pm and all i've accomplished was 1) mull over the lack of new reading material 2) watch triple 9. still watching as i type this. 3) watch a couple of episodes of friends. that is horrifically depressing. on a completely irrelevatory note, i had an appeal up for help with some firewall problem on my msn nick. a prompt reply came from a person i haven't spoken to online, let alone in person, for a long long time. it was cordial to the point of strained awkwardness. i'm not sure if the awkwardness was mutual, the other party is very good at feigning nonchalance at such things, not that there was anything much between us in the first place. the strangeness sure bounced to australia and back. i really need to improve people relations. maybe proclaim my lurrrvee <3 for people here, link people up, play the PR game? several conversations with classmates whom i've been able to be mutually frank with have left me rather appalled, because i was largely perceived as stand-offish, snobbish and other adjectives along the lines of the previous two when school started . i think it is safe to assume such perceptions translate out of school-life and into whatever facets of my life there is. i swear, i'm nice. i just need small talk to be initiated and perhaps fish around a little for common ground then things will get so much easier.

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