Friday, June 17, 2005

been a bit. on and off, entries have been brewing but somethings are better left unsaid. but watching the finale for eye for a guy last night was the last straw for this blogger's back. watching the lady with the huge gob volley her feelings between two men is definitely something i can relate to. never mind that the two guys my feelings had to go back and forth for don't have prospects as cushy as the other two just yet, never mind it wasn't telecast for one and all to tear apart, though one or more have definitely done more than a little dissecting to my choices, never mind i didn't express what i felt like she did, convulated and at times, spasmic and exaggerated expressions but hey, can i relate. but all said and done, it was really simple. the previous' doings to me and mine him, and definitely having someone much better come along did it for me. simple maths that even i can't fail to see and do. the product of the equation has been my and presumably his happiness thus far and i'm crossing my fingers. the grass on the other side is somehow largely irrevocably greener but the fences are always a bitch. also, seeing an aquaintance i met through someone who figured somewhat prominently in my life last year around this time in school jolted me a little. wondering what the hell was he doing in my school apart, i was desperately hoping he wouldn't recognise me but he did and it was undeniable i recognised him too. the sight of him has opened up a whole can of worms i've been very unwilling to reopen. i've been trying very hard to stow it away in the darkest recesses of my mind and forget it was ever there. no such luck. call it bad luck, fate, murphy's very fucked up law, whatever; things like that will always come back and bite you hard in blind spots you never knew existed, never mind your damned ass. with that aquaintance's friend, it was all about pushing my luck, tempting fate and testing boundaries, all of which had culminated in an upsetting of principles that i tried so hard to uphold when whatever went on between us happened. never again.

the textual siege.

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