the textual siege.

i just got home not from another person's house like i was supposed to but from making arrangements for my paternal grandmother who shuffled off this mortal coil earlier in the evening when i was deep in slumber.

this doesn't feel real at all. i could hardly see her dimunitive form beneath the white sheet on her bed at the nursing home. the cremation would be later today, no wake would be held because theoretically speaking, she only has my father, mother and me. the other spawn, whose existences i only learnt of tonight, might as well not exist. besides, i believe chinese wakes are such wayangs. the more money one has, the longer the duration and the more elaborate it would be. such flagrant displays of vulgar wealth do nothing for the deceased, only serving to stroke the egos of the vain living.

i'm glad tomorrow would be the last time i step into the nursing home, no where that reeks of impending death, antiseptic and boiled vegetables could possibly be very pleasant to be around.

anyway i sincerely hope she's in a better place now, as trite and cliched it may sound.

september was an awfully good month for me, until today that is. until a conversation preceding my nap annoyed me and the bad news woke me up.