Tuesday, October 25, 2005
another moody day, another afternoon spent at home. what a bloody lacklustre week. was having jamie cullum's remake of pharell's Frontin' and it hit me. i'm always frontin' when i have fights with boyfriends. stony silence, nonchalence and just anything goes. it's what got me hit and made someone strong break down and cry. i don't know why i do that. i think it's 90% really not caring, 5% of fear of what's to come and 5% of not knowing how else to deal with the situation. i never seem to learn that it's not the best approach but i keep repeating that behaviour because i'm always hoping the silence and refusal to say more would eliminate the problem of adding fuel to the fire and letting the other person use the silence to think. but it still never seems to work. on hindsight, i guess it isn't frontin' anymore. i feel like i need a break, from everything, everyone. go somewhere and do things on my own. feeling tired all the time isn't healthy. the da vinci is really, really engaging. i hate to say it, but i love it.by P at 10/25/2005 03:16:00 PM |
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