the textual siege.

sam, is this how you can envision me??

ok disclaimer first : the words above were not added by me.

i'm not some husband hungry girl but the image accosted me from out of nowhere when i was mindlessly blog surfing and i felt more.... alarmed... at how real it could be. just need to add a book or a crumbling vogue. serves me damn right for skivving.

but still, i'm steadfastly refusing to discuss the issue of husbands/babies here in detail and only with 2 or 3 close friends because i'm ready to take on such issues headfirst yet.

all i have to say is, i'm dead terrified to look like those couples you see everywhere, in every country. characteristically, they are both sloppy. the female seems to have forgotten the concept of makeup, the male has taken to wearing faded free giveaway tshirts and those bulky sports sandals [or oh god, crocs], except the burgeoning belly is a telltale sign of a lack of exercise. always in between them will be a colicky, grumpy, unattractive baby of sometimes indeterminate gender but never failing to be as groomed its parents. parents will be spacing out and listlessly attending or fussing over junior but never communicating or even touching each other.

shit, i think i just fleshed out my worst nightmare.

but seriously speaking, give me the starter home, the husband, the children, the dogs [yes i WILL have them], regularity and stability. but don't give me brain-numbing mundanity, sex once a year, pure functionality, ZERO romance and all because i think i'll go batshit crazy.

it is not a lot, it isn't fireworks and orgasms every night but just some good old effort, which seems to be in serious short supply these days. in exchange, i promise to remain slim and somewhat attractive, always horny [not a problem there] and never a bore.

i am seriously considering, that should i become single again in future, to print this post out and show it to any guys with whom i surpass the 5th date mark and if they run away, then it will be obvious what they are made of.

so potential life partners, if you think this little barter i've struck here is just too crushingly difficult to adhere to, tell me when you see this so no more of my precious youth is wasted :)