the textual siege.

just when i think it's gonna be a mind-numbingly boring night being home on a saturday because i am back from spending 3 days and nights at the bf's and now he's out with friends, conversations with two people i've loved and actually still do, in a different way, quelled my boredom quite a bit. doling out love advice to an ex and seeking advice from another, not an ex, but might as well be - has spun some interesting perspectives for the night. i miss the both of them quite a bit and i miss him too but ego and not wanting to interrupt his night is holding me back from texting him. goddammit i am feeling hormonal and irritable and emotional.

if only trust could be bought, i'd pay any price for it. sell off my kidney too because i dont think any price would be too high to pay. what i wouldn't give for the peace of mind i've never known and to never sulk even when i'm not distracted or busy and my mind wanders to him.