Sunday, June 18, 2006

while my paramour is snug as a bug in bed, i am sadly here, mind refusing to yield to body's pleas for rest. oh well, no rest for the weary. or bloggers. on friday, fresh as a daisy and cutting through some blocks in my hood to get to the station, i came across a crime scene. yellow tape around the area and in it was a blue police tent, some broken flower pots and what i presumed was a body in the tent covered in plastic. police and the usual disrespectful gawking bystanders. i just found out that the raison d'etre of the scene was one of tragedy. an old lady jumped after discovering she was plagued by a terminal illness she could not afford to cure. i suppose.... that was sort of a valid reason to take one's own life. i don't know. what validates suicide? heartbreak? bankruptcy? illness? who's to say what's valid or not really. and what more, how could the country decide that suicide is illegal? where's morality and compassion? i, of course, have no authority at all to speak of this subject because i've never been given reason to even comtemplate it. i have been, and still am, morbidly fascinated with mortality and the spoils of it, to the extent of reading an eerily detailed and scientific tutorial on how to take your own life. it was all just curiousity and my nature to research as best i can the unknown, and hence, it is unlikely to kill this kitty. however, i've known for a very long time that when i have no one else to live for i.e all my family is gone and i have fulfilled all desires, material or otherwise, that then i will have no qualms taking matters into my own hands. the tenacity of the human will knows nary any bounds, or at least that's what me and my naivete would like to think. but unfortunately, there are too many prematurely snuffed lives to even dispute that. such is the fragility of life. tenacity and fragility. for every one brave soul that hangs on to that string of hope, another cuts itself free of it. but whatever is, and whichever side of the balance you take, i hope the lady is in a better place now than she was. memento mori.

the textual siege.

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