Monday, September 12, 2005

you know, i have this inane ability to predict how my day will turn out the moment i wake up for good. today, will be one of those days i'm just less enthused about. one thing's for sure, i woke up too damn early. a comforting pretext would be to finetune my project but who the hell was i kidding. end up also read blogs, blog then think about things i should've blogged about but didnt. another thing is we're moving to some unicampus nonsense in queensway. you can't begin imagine how annoyed i am at the change of routine. have to find new places to breakfast at and while away time so we can go to class late on purpose, have to find a way to get to town efficiently, have to foresee spending alot of time at ikea since i suspect we'll be quite near it, have to eke out new routes and routines, have to readjust my times so i have a window to leisurely enjoy my breakfast without having to inhale it, then must figure in 5 mins to walk to the station, then must time the journey to my station of destination. i feel tired already. i don't like expounding my thoughts and theories on most largescale happenings of the world because frankly, how different could my views be and most of the time, it'd be stale and old already; but i can't help but think what a bloody ingrate i am because if i'm just too plain lazy to readjust to new things, then what must the victims of hurricane katrina feel. zaihan says it happened because of all the things bush has done to the people of other countries. i don't know whether to agree with him or not. do you? most of the time, when such catrastrophe happens and the newspapers trip over themselves for major coverage spanning several pages, i find myself averting my eyes and scanning for something different to immerse myself in. i'm not quite sure why i do that. maybe it's cause it's been covered to death. maybe it's cause i don't want to see pictures of suffering and squalor so i don't have to be grateful for what i have. maybe it's cause i don't want to have to feel guilty for letting the water run and wasting good food. maybe it's cause i don't want to know that i don't have the gumption and strength and selflessness to up and go help people in need. maybe someday. self-gratificating bullshit. and maybe i'm really as spoilt and bratty as some people have made me out to be. and in that case, i'm not 'made out to be' anymore. i really am.

the textual siege.

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