Monday, April 18, 2005

it's 2.49am as i start this post, with a boyfriend in the kitchen cooking suppper for us and city of god on pause. i ate like bird at dinner, nothing appetising. i rather very much prefer eating at these ungodly hours anyway. my body is used to it so i don't gain weight, i/we can cook without my mother's interference. it's peaceful. it's my first time watching city of god. god bless the dvd rental machine at northpoint that allowed us to have so many titles under our fingertips at 4am yesterday. nice show, can do without the fuss from you all wannabe trendy wankers who have it in your fave movies list in fster and endlessly extol it. the world would be much pleasanter without you all. Lil Ze should be aiming Uzis and guns up your asses and i'll be laughing. if this were any other sunday, i wouldn't even be blogging. except this isn't. started watching city of god with a niggling feeling in the pit of my stomach and i know they weren't hunger pangs from a pint sized glutton. the pangs intensified, as did that feeling i couldn't put a finger on. not even the blistered finger that i burnt whilst cooking the other day. and finally, while watching my boyfriend indulge in my appetite and lord over the pot of boiling noodles, it hit me. i start school in about 6 hours. ok, so it's not like i didn't know i was starting school today but...i don't know. it's an odd feeling. i've been embracing the thought of finally having something to do and now i'm trying to edge that knowledge away from me. i feel like a reticent primary school kid reluctant to embark on a new school year. but never mind. shall jolly well learn to be thankful i'm going to be learning and productive. i just need to make sure i'm well fed every morning before being pushed out the door. oh and someone to wake me up before i can do all the above. joking. be reporting back tomorrow and try to get some sleep now. the blasted blistered finger is hindering typing too. later.

the textual siege.

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